Superior Wife Syndrome
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- September
- 18
Next week I’m interviewing the Sleepy Hollow author of a new book about “superior wives.’’
Carin Rubenstein, whose empty-nest book (“Beyond the Mommy Years”) was a big hit a few years ago, delves this time into the notion that many women are superior wives whose get-it-all-done mentality sometimes wreaks havoc on a marriage.
Am I a superior wife? Not sure. But here’s an example of the kind of things she talks about in her book.
The wife, who works full-time, volunteers to bring a homemade main course and a Trader Joe’s cheesecake to a big family dinner taking place Friday evening. The wife wakes up at 6 a.m. to make the meatballs, then goes to work. The husband has one assignment: go to Trader Joe’s and get the cheesecake.
At 3 p.m., the wife calls the husband to remind him about the cheesecake.
“Where is Trader Joe’s?” he says. (The store is on a main throughfare two miles from the house in which the family has lived for 20 years.) “And where would they have the cheesecake?”
It would be easier for the wife to leave work early and drive to Trader Joe’s and pick up the cake, then drive back home and make sure the meatballs get into the car. But the wife, trying to abandon her superior ways, decides to let the husband figure it out. If he forgets the meatballs in the refrigerator…well…that is another story.
Once I interview Rubenstein, I’ll have a better idea of how women can stop being superior wives.
You can also see her speak Oct. 1 at the Warner Library in Tarrytown. (My interview will run in the paper Sept. 26.)
Meanwhile, be honest. Who changes the toilet paper in your house?
This entry was posted
on Friday, September 18th, 2009 at 3:18 pm by Linda Lombroso.
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Baby boomer Linda Lombroso was born in Queens and grew up in Port Washington. She began her journalism career at New York Magazine and Rolling Stone, and came back to the field after spending 10 years as a stay-at-home mother. Linda joined The Journal News in 1997 and has been a Life & Style writer since 2000. She has three children.
I ALWAYS change the toilet paper. And refill the cup dispenser in the bathroom. But I only do it because I want it done. As far as bailing out my husband so he won’t have to get the Trader Joe’s cheesecake, nope, nope, nope. I wouldn’t do it. Can’t wait to read your story!
My husband thought it was the toilet paper fairy.
If my husband does something for me, I keep my mouth shut. Of course, he makes the bed wrong, folds the laundry wrong and loads the dishwasher wrong. But the point is he is doing it. If I were to complain he would stop doing it.
I am not perfect either. Let it go. That is what marriage is all about, letting go of things that drive you crazy about the other person.