Overstuffed sandwich
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- July
- 7
A survey released today found that more than half of Sandwich Generationers feel, at least once a week, that they’ve got to choose between taking care of a parent and caring for the needs of a child still living at home.
The survey was commissioned by Christian Companion Senior Care and Presto Services. The results were forwarded to me by my colleague, Julie Moran Alterio, a contributor to the Parents’ Place blog.
Of course both companies are using the survey results to their advantage; each offers products or services aimed squarely at Sandwich Generation consumers.
We don’t really need a survey to point out the obvious. On the days we need to chose who gets our time and attention, it’s a matter of weighing who really needs us the most.
But what I found most thought-provoking in the press materials accompanying the survey results were the questions I pose to you here:
In managing your responsibilities as caregiver, what would help you the most?
1) Flex hours at work?
2) An understanding spouse?
3) Help from an outside source?
4) Advances in technology?
What do you think?
This entry was posted
on Monday, July 7th, 2008 at 3:23 pm by Linda Lombroso.
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Baby boomer Linda Lombroso was born in Queens and grew up in Port Washington. She began her journalism career at New York Magazine and Rolling Stone, but left to pursue a master's degree in elementary education. Shortly afterward, she returned to magazines as an editor at US magazine, but again left the field, this time for the birth of her first child. Linda and her family moved from Manhattan to New Rochelle in 1988. After spending 10 years as a stay-at-home mother, she joined The Journal News as a police reporter in 1997. She's been a Life & Style writer since 2000. This is the only year her three children are teenagers at the same time, which means she undergoes a daily critique of hair, makeup and wardrobe. Her parents still live in Port Washington Ń and they like everything she wears.
Hi There,
I propose back to you that all are important, just a bit of reordering—
1. An understanding spouse—I couldn’t have survived my caregiving years without my husband’s strength, patience, and love.
2. Help from an outside source-
may I put an “s” on the end of source and change it to sources. Caregivers need lots of resources and help-and since it’s constantly changing, you have to keep finding new solutions. You need this whether you’re a working caregiver or not.3. Flex hours at work-
and telecommuting. It’s time we stop wasting gas and baby sitting offices. So many jobs are computer and phone related. We need to streamline our time and energies. This would be a god-send for parents and caregivers-and just plain smart for society. We should value employee’s not by how much time the clock in but by the quality of their work.4. Advances in technology-
micro-chips, nav systems in a bracelet form, a great hospital bed or chair-all are great helps, but caregiving is so much more about the person-to-person connection.I’d like to think of advances in technology in terms of cures. I’d love to imagine for one moment a world without cancer—or Alzheimer’s.
Thanks for allowing me to ramble. Your posts are always informative.
~Carol O’Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir
available on Amazon
www.mothering-mother.com
Carol—You raise such good points! Not sure why some of your comments are crossed out, though. Sorry about that…
Anyway, I appreciate your input! Happy to hear your advice!
Linda, I think there is more help now than when i went through this with my mom. I was in my late 30’s, I was working full time, I was married, I had 3 children. After a month of my mom living with me and my son sleeping in our basement, he gave my mom his room, I nearly lost it.
I wanted her to live with me permantely, but she wouldn’t. My grandmother, her mother-in-law, lived with us growing up and my mom swore she would never do that to her children. Anyway I had to find a place for her to live. If you have money, you can walk into any place with an opening. If you don’t it is another story. It took me almost a year to find the right assisted living facility, with an opening, that would take my mom with only her social security, that I liked enough to let her live there. I had no help. Nobody I knew at the time was going through what I went through. Now, in their 50’s, my friends are all going through what i did in my 30’s.
Sorry, the point I really wanted to make was that my husband was a huge support. He helped me in every way. He took care of the kids, never complained when my mom lived with us. I knew I could count on him. He even moved her furniture to the new place. He drove her sometimes to our home and back. If your spouse isn’t supporting you, nothing else matters. Because peace of mind in your home when the times get tough is all there is. I don’t think I could have gone through all that without my husband helping me.