Bad fit
-
- May
- 8
The other night, a friend’s father’s caregiver called her in a panic.
The aide said he yelling out his front door, begging the neighbors to save him from her. She was ready to call the police — and said she was walking out and leaving him alone.
Apparently, this woman is very strong-willed and had no interest in catering to the whims of my friend’s father (who can be very demanding). But really, if you’re paying someone to care for your elderly parent, shouldn’t they do whatever is asked?
Anyway, my friend rushed over to her father’s house, gave the woman her final paycheck and got on the phone with the employment agency, trying to line up someone to stay with her father that night.
She’s really had a hard time finding the right people. Have you had any luck hiring caregivers for your parents?
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on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 5:16 pm by Linda Lombroso.
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Baby boomer Linda Lombroso was born in Queens and grew up in Port Washington. She began her journalism career at New York Magazine and Rolling Stone, and came back to the field after spending 10 years as a stay-at-home mother. Linda joined The Journal News in 1997 and has been a Life & Style writer since 2000. She has three children.
My mom is a very strong willed woman as well. My sister has the honor of taking care of the caregiver search. Currently they have a few and also have gone through a few. The 2 i had met recently seemed very competent and good.
Linda, I think so much of this has to do with the mental and physical state of the person needing care. Caregivers dont’ have it easy most of the time. I went through this with my mother, father and now my aunt. Each situation was different, and I’ve come to really respect what these people have to deal with. Frankly, I couldn’t do it 24/7.
Was this person a full-time aide, part time? What did he want her to do? Health aides are not supposed to be doing major cleaning or giving medications – there are very specfic agency guidelines for the type of care needed.
And of course if someone is not mentally there, unless you’re there, you have no idea how he’s treating someone. So, I do not think that if you’re paying someone they should do whatever you want – usually you’re paying the agency and the person has to follow agency rules.
do you know more?
I think unless you walk in a person’s shoes, you never know what they have to go through.
I have had my share of dealing with this situation with my mom, aunt and uncle (they had no children). My mom was very nice to everyone, so everyone loved her. My uncle was a bit demanding but he treated the caregiver for him and my aunt very well. She was with him for 6 years. I think the job of a caregiver is extremely difficult and they are not paid enough. Doing whatever is asked sounds a bit over the top for any job. This is just my opinion.
Gina—the aide was apparently very strong-willed. She would argue with the man about where to put something on the counter, for example, or how to slice an apple. Silly arguments that came down to shouting matches. He’s since gotten a very nice woman and it seems to be working out. He has Parkinson’s and early Alzheimer’s but he is basically a very nice person, just demanding when it comes to his meals and the household routine.
I do hope it works out. Thanks so much for your input!
Mari-I agree you never know what people are going through until you walk in their shoes!