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In the Middle

Coping with aging parents, growing kids and everything in the middle

Lasting legacy

April
12

When I went to the hospital recently for a minor procedure, I pulled my teenage daughter aside and whispered a few words in her ear. “If anything happens to me, please make me a promise,’’ I said, with just a hint of a smile. “Don’t let anybody see the inside of my bedroom closet.’’

We both laughed but she understood what I was getting at: I’d hate to be remembered for my disorganized ways.

In truth, everybody wants to be remembered. And fortunately, we’ve got more tools than ever to create audio and video legacies.

A few months ago, my friend and colleague Mary Shustack wrote a story about “Heirloom Biography,”:http://www.heirloombiography.com/ a White Plains firm that helps families put their stories on tape.

Another great local resource is “StoryCorps,”:http://www.storycorps.net/ a national project that enables people to record 30-minute professional-quality audio interviews in sound booths across the country. For just $10, you and your interview subject sit down and talk — most likely at the closest StoryCorps booth, inside Grand Central Terminal — and you leave with a CD of the interview.

This week, The New York Times also ran a “story”:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/10/business/retirement/10web.html?_r=1&n=Top%2fRefere on the rise of video-legacy projects that are finding their way onto web sites like YouTube.

It included a “sidebar”:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/10/business/retirement/10webside.html on the equipment you need to get started. Seems anybody can be a filmmaker if they have a few basic pieces of equipment — and a little bit of technical knowledge. (This is where the computer-savvy kids in the household come in.)

Even if you have all the equipment in the world, there’s one thing you need before you get started on a legacy project: the courage to ask your parents or relatives to participate.

But think of it this way: How will you feel when a grandchild or younger relative asks you to tell your life story on tape? Won’t you feel honored?

I know I will — but I’m laying out the ground rules now: No footage inside my closet.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 12th, 2007 at 1:39 pm by Linda Lombroso.
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About this blog

We've been called "the sandwich generation" and with good reason. Most of today's baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) are dealing with aging parents and college-age kids -- or starting again as empty nesters, adapting to a new life without children at home.


In the Middle will address a variety of topics, including caring for aging parents (medical, ethical, emotional and financial issues) and caring for parents long-distance (what do we do when parents live out of state, or are citizens of another country and we can't bring them to the U.S. for medical care?).


It will also cover the way we deal with the financial and emotional demands of our teenage and young-adult children. Middle age also presents its own "crises": How do we handle that first mailing from AARP? Preventive health screenings (like colonoscopies and bone-density tests)? What are the dating options for those who find themselves single in middle age?


In the Middle will explore all these topics and more, as we share resources and learn from each other's experiences.


About the author
Linda Lombroso Baby boomer Linda Lombroso was born in Queens and grew up in Port Washington. She began her journalism career at New York Magazine and Rolling Stone, and came back to the field after spending 10 years as a stay-at-home mother. Linda joined The Journal News in 1997 and has been a Life & Style writer since 2000. She has three children.

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