I warned you last week that I’d jump between serious topics and fluffy stuff.
Well it’s time for a foray into the fluff.
Over the weekend, as I was flipping through one of this month’s fashion magazines (was it Allure or Vogue? I’ll let you know tomorrow) I came upon a topic I never knew middle-aged women worried about: flabby armpits!

As I read about case after case of embarrassed women complaining to doctors about their underarm saggage, I suddenly started wondering myself. Does everybody over 40 have this problem? How come I never realized this before?

You already know what I did next. Yes, I ran to the bathroom mirror, lifted up my arms and searched for the stuff they were talking about. Didn’t look that bad, I’ve got to say. So I squashed my arms back down, slid the elbows back a bit and then I saw it. Ugh! I, too, had the dreaded underarm dangles.

Don’t worry. I’m not wasting any more time on this. Of course I’m not seeing a plastic surgeon or investing in special supportive lingerie. I just think it shows that too much navel-gazing can be horrible for your mental health. Do we really need one more thing to add to the proof-I’m-not-young-anymore list?

Is this armpit thing crazy or what?

I was talking to a colleague the other day about this blog, and how — just as I’m stretched in a few different directions in my personal life — it’s tricky to talk about all the issues we face in middle age without sometimes seeming self-centered or insensitive.

What I mean is this: How can I whine about my thighs or my slowing metabolism or my difficulty sleeping when there are serious issues at hand?

Yet sometimes humor is what saves us, at least for a little while. So if, in the next week, I start complaining — in an effort to compare notes, of course — please don’t think me insensitive.

Meanwhile…had a little freak-out moment Wednesday. I just found out that Iggy, the adorable little boy who grew up across the street from me, just turned 45!

We all have our Iggies, right? I just can’t believe what happened to mine..

Have a relaxing weekend..if you can!

My colleague, Leah Rae, wrote an excellent front-page story on the difficulties of elder care (if you missed the Sunday story, read it here).

One of the toughest things about being a caregiver (aside from the financial toll it can take) is tackling the job alone, without emotional support.

Among the offerings provided by the Westchester County Department of Senior Programs and Services is this booklet filled with information on caregiver support groups and respite programs.

As you’ll see, many of the programs are run on a drop-in basis. Go once and see if you like it. No strings attached.

Have you found any other services that have helped?

Caregivers and older adults, take note: There are two Health Advocacy Resource Centers in Westchester, both at county libraries.

The centers, at the John C. Hart Memorial Library in Yorktown and the Grinton I. Will branch of the Yonkers Public Library, have trained counselors on hand to help you navigate the health-care maze, with information on everything from Medicare prescription coverage to finding support services.

The resource centers are a partnership among the Westchester Library System, the Medicare Rights Center and Sarah Lawrence College.

Hours in Yonkers are 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Hours in Yorktown are 10 a.m to 1 p.m. Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

For more information, call the Westchester Library System at 914-231-3226.

So what’s your feeling about the Dutchess County man who left his parents in a hot car for three hours while he went to work — and came back to find his father dead?

The more I read about the case, the more it seems a tragic error in judgment rather than a deliberate attempt at neglect.

When one parent has Alzheimer’s, it’s tough to figure out a solution that keeps that parent safe. When both are suffering from dementia, as it seems this couple was, I think it’s near impossible without getting outside support.

One great resource I’ve found is the Eldercare Locator, provided by the U.S. Administration on Aging. The site basically offers all the information you’d need to begin researching the elder-care options in your area.

Have you ever found yourself desperately searching for solutions to your own elder-care issues?

Do you think most people are sympathetic or that they really don’t care — unless they’re going through the same thing?

We’ve been very lucky.

A few weeks ago, my mother contacted an agency to hire a nurse’s aide to help out at home with my father.
We’d requested a woman who’d worked for a relative of ours. She was available until something screwed up at the last minute—something about paperwork not being ready. So they offered someone else, told us she was incredible and we said yes.

I am now convinced there is a higher power pulling some strings down here.
This woman is like a gift—a smiling, generous soul who goes out of her way to treat my father with kindness, compassion and respect.

He really likes her too, which is a bonus. And yesterday, she got all teary-eyed when she told me she’s developed a special bond with both my parents.
“I can’t believe how close I feel to them,’’ she said. “I feel like I’m taking care of my own dad.”

Tomorrow I’ll tell you how special my dad is. But for now, I feel relieved…and grateful. At the risk of sounding corny, I’ve got to say this: there are angels here on earth.

A survey released today found that more than half of Sandwich Generationers feel, at least once a week, that they’ve got to choose between taking care of a parent and caring for the needs of a child still living at home.

The survey was commissioned by Christian Companion Senior Care and Presto Services. The results were forwarded to me by my colleague, Julie Moran Alterio, a contributor to the Parents’ Place blog.

Of course both companies are using the survey results to their advantage; each offers products or services aimed squarely at Sandwich Generation consumers.

We don’t really need a survey to point out the obvious. On the days we need to chose who gets our time and attention, it’s a matter of weighing who really needs us the most.

But what I found most thought-provoking in the press materials accompanying the survey results were the questions I pose to you here:

In managing your responsibilities as caregiver, what would help you the most?
1) Flex hours at work?
2) An understanding spouse?
3) Help from an outside source?
4) Advances in technology?

What do you think?

I’m not a nutritionist and I’m certainly not a chef. But I’ve always been able to differentiate between healthy food and junk food (seriously, who among us is still in the dark about this?). The challenge is juggling our jobs, our kids, our parents and all our other responsibilities, and still getting a healthy meal on the table every night.

Well, Irvington chef-author Missy Chasy Lapine doesn’t specifically target her new book at the boomer population, but it’s actually a perfect fit.

As I report in a story in today’s Journal News, Lapine’s new Sneaky Chef cookbook aims to slip healthy ingredients into ordinarily fattening favorites, reducing the calorie and fat content while boosting flavor and nutrition.

If I could only get myself organized enough to do the shopping and some of the cooking on weekends…anybody know a good book on procrastination prevention?

To check out lots of Lapine’s recipes, click on this link to her Web site

Lest you think I’m the only one obsessed with the snoring problem…yesterday, I was in the Westchester mall, looking at the $129 snore-prevention pillow they sell at Brookstone, when two women suddenly appeared by my side.

“I can’t take it anymore,’’ said the taller one, lovingly rubbing her fingers along the pillow’s protective wrap. “Last night I moved to the guest bedroom.’’

The shorter woman grew agitated. She said she’d heard on TV that the anti-snore pillow was useless. “They said not to waste money on this pillow and that it does nothing,” she added, nearly grabbing it out of our hands.

Wow, this snoring thing sure brings out strong emotions!

Anyway, the tall woman and I immediately put the pillows back on the display rack. For a brief moment, there’d been the hint of promise in the air. I could tell the other woman felt bad for ruining our happiness.

“Why don’t you do what I do?’’ she said. “Wake him up!”

And with that, she walked away.

If you’ve found yourself taking care of your parents, you’ll want to check out the information I just discovered on one of AARP’s sites.

Caregiving is a special section that has numerous articles and resources — and even has a caregiver stress test.

I’ve learned that in times like these, it’s so helpful to have all the information you’re looking for in one place. Hope you find this useful.